Sunday, December 16th, 2018

So much has changed since my last entry! I'm dating Merritt now and I'm out to my immediately family. Mom is of course very very stupid about the things she says, and my dad has said some very ignorant things but mostly keeps his mouth shut. I've got lots of femme clothes now as well, and my boobs have gotten a little bigger! Still not out at work, which is increasingly anxiety-inducing. Over the upcoming break, I plan on applying to a lot of recruiters. I can't stay at my job much longer...

Today I am incredibly femme, to the point where I absolutely feel like "girl" and asked Merritt to refer to me as their girlfriend. They got really excited by that and keep referring to me that way, which just feels SO good. This was also really nice because like the past two weeks I've been feeling very masc and it was making me doubt if I was trans again. Merritt and I got breakfast at La Gourmandine this morning, and I wore one of my really femme outfits there, and felt so pretty! It was such a rare feeling and it left me so happy. Also, the other day I argued with a bunch of transphobes on reddit, and actually walked away winning a few arguments. Of course there was nothing I could do about some people, but I just reported the outright harassers.

I'm also pretty excited for the upcoming winter break! I'm getting an entire week off from work, and Merritt will be coming with me! They really dislike plane travel and say that their parents house is too far for bus or car. So we've been planning on doing lots of fun things, like watching tv shows and movies that we each have been wanting to show the other for a while, and I'll be teaching them how to use Blender! It turns out that Merritt used to make little animations in their spare time, but kind of fell off doing that in the past few years. I'm really excited to help them with that.

Something I'm planning on gearing up for very soon is more drawing! I know I've been talking about how I've wanted to be drawing so much here, but I've got some concrete plans for getting started. After talking with Fable and Jett for a while, I decided I'd be doing some traditional stuff on paper, to try and force myself to be less perfectionist, as well as getting good practice in for making quick strokes that convey emotion rather than fixating on every part of the drawing being careful and considerate. I have made plans with Fable today to go to an art store to buy the sketch pad and a couple pencils.

Another that that I want to record here is that Vic and I started watching zombie movies every week! Sometimes Fable joins in too, and it's been really fun watching the old movies that I love as well as ones I hadn't seen before. It's actually changed my ranking a bit. 28 Days Later is not as good as I remember it being. It's okay, just not great like I once thought.

After Merritt and I got breakfast this morning, they wanted to cuddle a bit, which rapidly became very horny. This was coincidentally a masc day for them, and they were really top-y. I was really bottom-y and I this was the most horny I've ever seen them be. I felt really different being so girl-aligned today in terms of my sexuality. I wanted to do lots of horny cuddling, but I didn't have much of an interest in orgasming for once. After a little while, I really got the urge to suck Merritt off, which I then did, and had a lot of fun doing. They were so horny and it was so hot. I also can't get enough of Merritt really like grabbing my butt.