Thursday, October 14th, 2018

Okay, I finally told Charlie today, and as expected they weren't interested. Kind of surprisingly, I wasn't upset even a little. I expected to be more hurt by the fact that my first crush rejected me, but I was neutral, really. Merritt and I hung out later and I definitely have some level of attraction to them. I was just going to pack, but I kind of reached a wall with that. Oh! I didn't mention here yet, but I found someone to sublet from me. They want to move in late Wednesday night so I need to be completely moved out by then.

Ren also cut my hair for the first time today! He rinsed my hair first in the women's bathroom, so this was my first time going into one! It was really scary, and I got really scared when someone else walked in, but nothing happened. Ren didn't wind up giving me a perfect haircut, but it was okay. It was the first time cutting both short hair and wavey hair.

Also, annoyingly, Owen, Steven, and I went to Page Dairy Mart today and arrived just as they shut the window. Apparently they have gone back to closing at 10:00 PM instead of 10:30 PM. So we went to the Geagle and got an ice cream cake instead.

Merritt and I were cuddling and I wound up getting horny (they already were and were pretty vocal about it). They started touching my body, poking at squishy areas, which I enjoyed. They poked my chest at some point trying to find my very small breasts and that made me really horny for some reason and I, quite embarassingly, asked if they wanted to just touch my boobs. They said they weren't expecting anything sexual to happen and didn't want to go there. Which I'd normally completely agree with. That would have been much too quick for me, so I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea in the moment. Probably, it had something to do with the fact that I was starting to get really pleased with how much I've grown and the fact that they couldn't really feel anything made me want to show off that I definitely had something. And on another level I want someone else to touch my boobs, acknowledge they're there, and like them.